Friday, May 30, 2008

It is well known that my day job is a Sisyphean nightmare of legendary proportions. I provide phone support to the customers of several major retailers. In the process, I've witnessed every mauling of the English language anyone could reasonably expect. Sorry human dignity, you've just gotten 20 years with no parole and people too dim to realize that extended warranties are a scam are your new bunkmate.

Over time, you become desensitized to the normal abominations. The various lazy drawls and hyper active dialects stop impressing you.

It is the cartoon characters that you never get used to. I've had all kinds. People with voices that make Mike Tyson sound like Barry White. People who talk seventy-miles-per-hour. People who pronounce "Baton Rouge" as "Belange'" Heck, I had a guy from Brooklyn call once who literally reversed what words would and wouldn't be plural, just like Sal on Futurama.

And a few moments ago, I had a woman who started every answer to every inquiry with 'uh-huh?' and appended it to the front of random sentences and paragraphs. Every question: What is your name? What is your phone number? What are the numbers at the bottom of your receipt? All answered, yes, but with a vapid "uh-huh" coming beforehand. If the call hadn't mercifully dropped I might well have been driven mad.

I'm not sure what this really means but I will say this: if the whole world is a twisted simulation of a long-dead reality I really hope it is more like Dark City and less like the Matrix.


Addendum: Someone just called in with a warranty on a cassette walkman. Purchased in 2008. I'm amazed.

Monday, May 26, 2008

UT:APfEE Chapter 1: The Dragon in my Garage

Understanding Trent: A Primer for Everyone Else
Chapter 1: The Dragon in my Garage

I've decided that, in order to have something to blog about frequently, I will be peroidically attempting to reveal the depths of my existence to my minute readership. I fancy myself an emperical-sort, but while I revile arguement from authority in terms of facts, sometimes philosophy is best taken from the source.

If anyone wants to understand my skeptical nature, read on. Also, this will explain the meaning of my blog's title.

This is the best sum-up of my view on the whole skeptical worldview, as originally stated by Carl Sagan in The Demon Haunted World. I find it more diplomatic than the Flying Spagetti Monster and more educational than the Curch of the Invisible Pink Unicorn.

Go here to read: The Dragon in My Garage by Carl Sagan

Consolidation and Mass Distribution

I know I've said this before, but seriously, this time I mean it. I'm going to blog more frequently, and this is how I'm going to get it done. I'm going to try to at least update this thing weekly (other goals include doing the same for and still keeping up with my TFCC duties.) and I'm going to be providing more substance than previous blogs, many of which were largely shilling for my projects.

Not to say that I won't be shilling. I will be. A lot.

But it will be more balanced from here on out.