Friday, October 10, 2008

Vote Your Subconscious!

or... Obama / Troop '08 - Change Like You Wouldn't Believe!

A man once said that there's nothing more boring than another man's dreams. To that man I say... Havesomeathis!

Last night I dreamed that something had happened to Joe Biden. I'm not sure what, exactly, but Joe was gone and there was a spot open for the Democratic vice-presidential nominee. All this had gone down in the middle of a debate with Sarah Palin and a series of very odd events then followed.

First off, the ghost of my father apparently has great pull with the Democrats, and I was, thanks to his intervention, vetted within a few minutes and made the new vice presidential nominee, and ushered on stage. I was worried about the debate, but since Palin didn't answer any questions and couldn't question my credentials because she was trained to debate Biden, I coasted through pretty well. As if this were not strange enough, I then went to the white house hangers-on area. This was a massive sprawl of TVs, secret service agents and politically minded people wandering around the White House lawn.

There, I met Penn Jillette. He was performing death-defying magic for a pair of Japanese tourists (I think it was Hiro and Ando from Heroes) but I got his attention. He was reluctant to talk to me but I insisted that he was one of the few people who actually cared what the Constitution said, so I wanted his opinion. "According to the Constitution, do you have to be 35 to be President or just to RUN for President?" I asked. Apparently, my ghost-vetting had not brought up the age issue. His response was bizarrely philosophical and out of character. "Well, you're forgetting the much overlooked 12th Amendment, which states that all rights held by one citizen are held by all. As long as there is at least one person over 35 in the country, you can run."

When awake, I know that the 12th amendment actually has to deal with the election, but states quite plainly that I would not be eligible until the 2012 election.

He then continued: "Sometimes we are individual people living our lives, sometimes we are our entire species, a mass of apes, dying all at once. Sometimes we are both and sometimes we are neither."

At this point, I informed him that I was now in the running for vice president. He said he would not vote for me and left. I spent the remainder of the dream wandering around the sprawl around the White House, wondering how to adjust my wardrobe to fit my new role.

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